Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I just finished talking with my mother on the phone and I remembered that her birthday is coming up. I joked with her that she is getting getting while refuted my playful, jocund manner she also admitted that she her forgotten her own age. Maybe she is going senile but to me she is forever young. In her 50's or so, my mother has real beauty and charm that no other possesses. She is quite old now and I admitted to her that I've writing my book and thinking about the concept of time and how it might relate to her own age. Obviously she is a young 50 but she has four children, three in their thirties and my sister, who is in her late twenties and grandchildren who are also now part of the family. It almost seemed to me that if we added all our ages together my mother would be almost 200 years old or 200 hundred years young. Obviously, she doesn't feel like she's 200 hundred and her children are too young to feel any older, though each member of the family can add on additional, subjective time to her life. If she lived to be another 150 or less, and when and if she ever passed, which I have never imagined, because I love her dearly, her children will remain behind, though she shares our time with hers. Does that me we will die and be buried with her if she passes. An honorable son could only that was so, but alas, she will leave us one day and I have to cope with that fact. My time will continue and I will age as she did in her life and while I live and continue my life, by living as her shared time on earth, I believe that I will continue her life on earth, through my children and their children. Alas, she will be in heaven smiling down at a jealous forebear who will miss her dearly and can only wish he was also with her but will have to eek out a dignified existence nonetheless. My father died a long time ago and when we say we are survived by our children, that is exactly correct because we do survive and preserve the legacy of our fathers. I loved my father dearly and miss him dearly and while he may not be around, his time on earth has persisted. And his wife who is my mother has shared this time with him and thus kept time alive in us, by which she has provided a mutual respect in us for time by leaving us with a measurement. Time is immemorial since we all visit tombs or the Taj Mahal and places that have outlasted time and are visited by us to praise the time gone by and consider that as a appropriate use of our time because it is monument to love, the ultimate goal. I can only wish I can do my mother well by spending her time on earth well and preserving her legacy and remembering her as my time continues and flourishes. Thus, I will always be that grain of sand and my mother, by dying will no less be without me or me without her until the end of time, which is the day of reckoning. While my love for my mother and my father outweighs my desire to live, time has the ultimate word and my hope is that God or the universal architect will guide my time well on this planet that I share with my loved ones. I can only pray that their time is also well applied that is whoever is guiding me. My other hope is to share time with someone who is important to me, who I love and respect and that can fulfill these values.